I am about a week away from finishing the whole thing, which is usually when I start noticing jobs that suddenly seem urgent.
Paragraphs is there now, though really it is two things. There is The Writing Desk, which is my own writing. That is where those sites sit. Then there is the hub, which is for the sites I am hoping might earn something over time. I still do the work on those as well, though sometimes I use AI to check facts, help with wording or make sure I have got the right term for something. So it is not as if I am starting from nothing. Quite a lot of it already exists. That is part of the trouble.
I am good at this stage. This stage is fine. Setting things up, linking one bit to another, sorting out structures, naming things, deciding where things should go, all that I can do. I can spend a very respectable amount of time preparing a system. It looks like work because it is work. That is part of the attraction.
The plan itself is simple enough. Finish the last few jobs, press the button and let it start. Get pieces going up every day. Build the sites. Keep adding to them. See whether any of it turns into money, because I am due to retire in three years, and financially, I am not ready.
That is just true. I am not ready.
Some of that is because I have never been very good with money. When I earned a wage, it went into my wife’s account, which suited me very well. Money is one of those things I would rather not look at for too long. It makes me uneasy. Like the sun. Or certain people in town when you have only gone out for milk.
Then there is the other part, which is less impressive than it used to sound in my head. For years, I did not charge clients because I was fixing SEO messes left by other people. They had already paid someone else to do the work badly, and I felt it was wrong to ask for more money after that. Some of that was decent. Some of it was also a convenient way to avoid having to properly ask to be paid.
I got to feel principled and avoid something awkward at the same time.
Even now, if I think too hard about money, I start to feel odd. A bit giddy. I have decided this sets off my BPPV. Whether that is medically correct, I do not know, but it is useful. It means even my body can join in with the avoidance.
So here I am, building this lot because there is a chance it could earn something if I keep at it, keep editing, keep turning up, keep feeding the thing. At the same time, I know I may be late. Search is changing. Traffic is not what it was. AI is already doing some of the things people used to do on websites. There is every chance I have picked exactly the wrong moment to build a network of sites.
That does worry me. I am not pretending otherwise. But I also know a real worry can be useful when there is another one behind it.
Because once I press the button, it stops being preparation.
Up to now, everything has been nearly. Nearly ready. Nearly built. Nearly finished. Nearly launched. Nearly there. You can live inside “nearly” for a long time and still call yourself busy.
Once it starts, it counts. It is out in the world doing whatever it is going to do. Then it can fail properly, unlike a good plan that is still in progress. A plan in progress still has some dignity. It still has excuses. It still has one more week.
I have done this before, in one form or another. Different project, same basic point. Get it close enough that the next step would make it real. Suddenly become very interested in minor, unfinished details. A few final checks. A few adjustments. A better structure. One more tidy-up. All sensible things. Also, not the point.
Because I can finish setting it up. I will finish setting it up. That bit I trust myself to do.
It is the bit after that.
It is pressing the button and letting it count.